


Better

by J_Hwang



Series: Song Inspired [42]
Category: Dreamcatcher (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Forgiveness, Goodbye, Hopeful Ending, Longing, Open Ending, Regret, Second Chances, Separation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-23
Updated: 2020-12-23
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:00:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,659
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28105890
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/J_Hwang/pseuds/J_Hwang
Summary: You said your goodbye. And now is my turn.Goodbye, Kim Bora. I am sorry. I love you.Minji was about to move on, when Bora suddenly shows up.What if the feelings still there? What if both of them never forget?What if Bora wish Minji could come looking for her?
Relationships: Kim Bora | SuA/Kim Minji | JiU
Series: Song Inspired [42]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1550344
Comments: 9
Kudos: 37





	1. Chapter 1

_ Goodbye, Kim Minji. _

One sentence. Just one sentence. Written on a piece of sticky note, sitting on the kitchen countertops. 

Kim Minji thinks that her morning will be great, waking up her girlfriend making breakfast for them. She thinks that her morning will be lovely, eating breakfast while enjoying their warm coffee before going out for work. But, what she did not expect is a piece of sticky note, with only one sentence written on it. One piece of sticky notes, and her world comes crumbling down.

She stares at that piece of sticky note, tears flowing down and she did not bother to wipe it. So many questions flowing inside her brain. Questions that she could not answer. She thought everything was fine. They even spend the night together, having dinner, watching movies, and cuddling each other to sleep. But why…?

Then realization hits her. Kim Minji was never a good girlfriend. She was never a caring one. She breaks so many promises. She broke the younger’s hearts for god knows how many times. All because of her stupid workaholic self. 

“I need to work so we can have a better future.” 

“I need to work so I could buy us a house, and a car that belongs to us.” 

“I could not leave the meeting, it’s a good opportunity!” 

“I am sorry, I could not make it home by dinner, there’s a sudden company dinner that I could not sit out.” 

They’ve been together for so many years, but ever since they graduated university and started working never once she stayed to celebrate their anniversary. Never once she remembers the younger’s birthday and prepares something special. And never once does she show up at even her own birthday party whenever the younger one prepares a dinner or a celebration. That only now she realized, that for the past year, there was no anniversary celebration, there was no birthday dinner, there was nothing.

The two have known each other since highschool, being in the same class and sharing seats. The two got closed almost instantly and inseparable ever since. They share every secret, happiness, sadness, and also feelings. Hence, when the younger girl confesses to Minji she says yes almost instantly.

7 years, that is how long they’ve been together. Receiving blessings from both family and friends, they moved in together once they graduated highschool. They went to the same university, having different majors. Things were fine during then. 

But things started to change once they graduated. Minji got accepted into an engineering company, while the younger one opened up her own studio and taught dance to little children. And both of them are getting more busy with real life that they spend time together less and less as time goes by. 

The younger always makes an effort to spend time with Minji, but everytime Minji always ends up breaking her promises. Coming back to a dark apartment, only to meet with the younger sleeping soundly with her back facing her. She never waits for her like she used to anymore. And that is when she knows, what they have between them changed. 

But did Minji do something to fix that? No.

Work is more important. Or so she said. Because that is how she was able to cater for both of them. 

But does the younger want any of it? Does she want Minji to provide for them? Does she want a good future, with a house, a car? No.

She only wishes for them to go back to when they used to spend time every night, cuddling, telling stories. And not for her to wait for Minji to come home late night, sometimes drunk, breaking promises, and giving blank promises.

She had enough. She had enough of all the lies, she had enough of Minji.

* * *

6 months have passed. 

6 months since Minji was left alone. 

6 months since Minji started to isolate herself, cutting off herself from the outside world. 

No matter how her friends try to reach out for her, they can't. Minji fully cut off everything. She knows if she shows up in front of her friends, they will only give her a disappointed expression. Minji knows, because her friends always scold her from time to time, she just never listens.

She quit her job, moved out of her apartment. She saved enough money to last her another year. She just couldn’t stay in her old apartment, knowing that it holds a lot of memories between them.

She travels around, going from one country to another.

* * *

It’s been 2 years since. Minji is now back in Seoul and opened a bakery downtown.

The only person that knew about it aside from her cousin, Yubin, was Yoohyeon and Siyeon. Yubin accidentally slips, telling the two girls that she is going to Minji’s bakery. Which ended up with the 2 following Yubin to her bakery that day. 

They scolded her, she deserves it. But what she did not expect is, they scolded her for running away, they scolded her for cutting off contact from them. They told her about how they were so worried, how they were so surprised that when her ex came to them, crying, telling them that she could not take it anymore, she was tired. 

They narrate what happened that morning, when she came to their shared house with a big luggage and puffy eyes. They told her that she just barged in, crashed into Siyeon and bawled her heart out. She told them that she is tired, that she could not take it anymore, that things are going nowhere. She also told them that she just wanted to go back to when they were in college, when they have a lot of time in their hand, when they could just cuddle and talk about their day. 

Her friends never blame her, but it will be a lie if they say they are not disappointed at her. They were worried for Minji too, but by the time they reached out to Minji, she left. 

And today, a once in a while peaceful day for Minji, without Siyeon or Yoohyeon come bugging her for free bread and coffee. Minji enjoys her peaceful day, arranging the baked goods, cleaning the coffee machine, while humming to the song that is playing on the radio. And that is when the bell rings.

*ring ring*

“Welcome to Minji’s bakery~” 

Minji says her usual greetings and looks up towards the door, only to freeze in place when she sees who walks into the bakery. Walking in a couple, the girl playfully hits the guy’s arms, assuming laughing from the joke that the guy made. They looked so happy and seemed like they did not realize Minji’s greetings, until they walked up to the counter. The girl is still laughing and turns her attention to the menu on the counter when the guy is making his order. Only when he asks the girl what she wants to order that the girl finally lifts up her head and sees the person standing in front of her.

“Min...Minji…?”

Out of all places and timing, she definitely did not expect to see her here. And after 2 years, she never changed, still having the same bubbly personality, loud laughter. What change is she dyed her hair back to brown, no more bright red hair that she had the last time they were together. 

The two of them having a staring session, forgetting that one was supposed to take order and one was supposed to make an order. It feels like everything around them disappears, left only with the two of them. 

“Baby? Bora?” 

“Ah… Sorry.” Bora, Kim Bora. That is her name. The name of the love of Minji’s life. Bora snapped back to reality and quickly mumbled out her order before the guy paid for it and proceeded to the waiting counter. 

_ ‘She never changes… It’s still the same…’ _ Minji thought. Bora hates coffee, and Ice Choco was her go to whenever they hang out at cafes. 

She quickly makes the order, passes it to the couple and walks back to the counter. She couldn’t afford to stare any longer, or everything that she held the past 2 years will surely explode. And only when the couple left the bakery is when she let out the breath that she didn't know she held.

_ “Yes, Minji? Close early today?” _

“Yu...bin…” Minji sobs out Yubin’s name. She closed her store right after the couple left. She doesn't think she can manage to hold it, so she closes the store early that night. And she called Yubin right after she walked into her office, her tears falling for the first time in 2 years. 

No, she never once cried in the past 2 years. She knows that she is the one to blame, she is at fault. So she nulled out her feelings, holding her tears inside. And today, it finally exploded. Who would imagine that meeting Bora will cause all the walls she built inside her to crumble in a second?

_ “I am coming” _ She heard Yubin answer in a rush and hung up the phone. 

And about 10 minutes later, Yubin, Yoohyeon and Siyeon barged into her office and engulfed her in a hug, comforting her, telling her everything will be fine. They are confused, of course. Minji just called in the middle of the day, crying, with no explanation. They know this day will happen, they know the day when Minji finally crumbles down will come. They let her cry it out.

“Care to tell us what happened?” Yubin asked when Minji finally calmed down.

“She came…” Minji whispered. Face buried in the crook of Siyeon’s neck.

“Who…?” Yoohyeon asked, confused.

“Kim Bora.” And the group falls silent.

“When?” Siyeon asked, hands patting Minji’s back as she felt that the older girl tensed up at the question.

“They left before I called Yubin.”

The three of them just stay quiet. They don’t know what to say, but they know Minji needs time and comfort, after all this time holding everything alone. They stay by her side until it’s late and they drive Minji back home, not wanting to leave her alone but Minji insists that she will be fine. They of course don’t believe it, but know better not to argue with her.

Soon after she closes the door, she slides down and cries. She cried and cried and cried, she didn't know how many more tears that she could let out, she just cried. She didn’t remember when she walked into the kitchen, grabbed whatever alcohol she had and downed it all. She only knows that she is not feeling light-headed, sitting in her living room still with alcohol on her one hand and phone on another.

“It’s either do or nothing.” She mumbled and pressed down the call button. Hoping it’s not connecting, but it is. 

“Her number is still the same…” She smiles bitterly.

* * *

_ “Hello?” _

_ “Anyone there?”  _

_ “I swear to God if this is a prank!”  _ Minji could hear that Bora is annoyed. But she just wants to listen to her voice. She keeps quiet, saying nothing. 

_ “If you are not planning to say anything, I am hanging up.”  _ She heard Bora said, and she panicked. She wants to listen to her voice longer, she missed the girl so much.

_ “I am hanging up.”  _ Minji could clearly hear that Bora is annoyed, and she heard the other line went off.

Minji stares at her phone, thinking whether she should call her back, but decides against it. She continued drinking, until she eventually passed out on her sofa.

* * *

The next day she woke up being disturbed by her phone ringing beside her. She sits up, grabbing her head and she groans at the throbbing pain.  _ ‘Reminds me not to finish a whole bottle of wine next time.’  _ She mumbled to herself as she eyes the empty bottle of wine on the floor. 

“Hmm?” She lazily mumbled as she picked up her phone.

_ “Are you okay?”  _ She heard the worry in Yubin’s voice.

“Hangover, but fine. I won’t be opening today and I’ll just stay in for a whole day.” 

_ “Okay, just don’t go disappear again without telling us!”  _ Siyeon speaks a little too loud for her liking.

“I won’t… I just want to be alone for awhile.” She said.

Minji stays in her bed the whole day, she scrolls her phone gallery, looking at their past pictures. She realizes they don’t have a single picture for the past 2 years before Bora left her. She smiles bitterly at the memories of that day, the day Bora left her. She misses her, she misses her smile, she misses her voice, she misses her touch. She misses the way Bora cuddles her to sleep at night, she misses waking up to Bora making coffee for her. She regrets everything, but now it’s too late. Bora has someone else, and she is happy.

She wants to call her, she wants to listen to her voice. She wants to tell her that she still loves her, and never once does she stop loving her. She wants to tell her that she wishes for her to come back, so that she could make it up for those years they missed. 

But Minji knows, she shouldn’t be selfish. Not when Bora could finally find her happiness. She doesn't want to complicate it. So she made up her mind.

She pulls out the messenger, and she types...

_ Hi... I am sorry to reach out… _

_ You don’t need to reply, or respond. _

_ I just want to say, I am sorry.  _

_ I was the wrong one, I always was. And I don’t blame your choice at all, you have the right to leave. _

_ I thought I could make you happy, but now I know. _

_ I hurt you. I broke our promises. And I give blank promises.  _

_ I gave a promise that I could not keep. I left you feeling alone, while I am out there doing what I think the best for us.  _ _  
_ _ But I was wrong. Only for it to be too late when I realize. _

_ I see you found someone, and I am happy you do. _

_ Make sure he treats you well, hold you like he won’t let go, call you just to hear your voice. _

_ He should tell you that you are beautiful, even when you think you are not. _

_ He should love you, better that I did. You deserve the best. _

_ You said your goodbye. And now is my turn. _

_ Goodbye, Kim Bora. I am sorry. I love you. _


	2. Unmiss You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I wish I could unmiss you, and reverse the time so I could unmeet you.

Here we go, another lie, another broken promise. Why do you even bother saying yes, when we both know that it won’t happen anyway? I am tired. 

How many birthdays, how many anniversaries, I lost count. What I know now is not to put any expectation to every yes that came out from you. 

But today is an exception. You are the one asking me to join you for dinner, you are cooking you said. You even took half a day off to come home early and prepare for our dinner. I am happy of course. But I am also tired. I made up my mind Minji, I am sorry but I couldn’t do this anymore.

Watching you cooking while humming reminds me of our college years. When we still have a lot of time in our hand and less pressure towards society. We spent time together most of the time. But those moments are long gone the moment we graduate. And you also gradually changed.

We ate our dinner, we talked about our days. You tell a story about your project that went well, about how your boss praised you and thinking of giving you a promotion. You happily said that once you get it, we could afford a home of our own. 

You also listen to me telling a story about my students. You said they sound lively and would like to meet them one day. I hummed. I am sure you realized that I looked down, you asked if I am okay. I told you I am, just a bit tired. It’s not a lie, I am tired.

It was 3 AM, and you are still in deep sleep. I slip out of bed, pulling out the luggage that I prepared the other day. You didn’t even realize that I packed my stuff. I walked out of our bedroom as quiet as possible, not wanting to wake you up. 

Standing by the kitchen counter, I take a look around our shared apartment. It was once filled with warmth feelings, but now it’s empty and cold. It holds a memory of both of us, happy, sad, bittersweet. And now I am going to leave it all behind. By the times you wake up, I won’t be by your side anymore. I am sorry.

_Goodbye, Kim Minji_

I wrote in a piece of sticky notes I found, and without glancing back I left our apartment.

“Siyeon…” 

“BORA?! What happened to you? It’s 5 in the morning for god sake!” 

It was around 5 in the morning when Bora arrived to Siyeon’s share house. She rings the bell, waiting for Siyeon or Yoohyeon, or even Yubin to open up the door. And when Siyeon opened the door, she was so surprised to see a crying Bora, face full of tears, some dried, and but still flowing.

“Come in.” Siyeon pulled her inside the house, running to her room to grab some blanket and wrapped the crying girl to warm her up.

“What happened? Why are you here at this time…?”

“I am tired, I cannot take it anymore… I… I left her.”

“Oh…” Siyeon stayed quiet afterwards. She rubs the back of the crying girl, calming her down, whispering that everything will be okay. But on the other side, she is also worrying about another girl.

When Bora finally fell asleep, in Siyeon’s bed this time, she went out to the kitchen and saw Yubin sitting there having her morning coffee.

“You heard it don’t you?” Siyeon said without looking at the other girl.

“Yah.” Yubin muttered.

“Do you think she will be okay? I know she is a strong woman but still.” 

“She might look strong, but we all know she is not, Siyeon.” Yubin stated matter of factly.

“True…” 

The air felt heavy between them, even more heavier when Yoohyeon came into the kitchen and sat beside them with a heavy sigh.

“We should go to Minji’s later.” Yoohyeon said.

“We should.” The other two muttered quietly. 

But when the three of them went to Minji’s the next day, she was nowhere to be found.

* * *

It’s been a year since that day. Bora stays with Siyeon, Yubin and Yoohyeon for a few weeks while looking for an apartment. Siyeon told her that she could stay with them, but Bora being Bora, not wanting to disturb them more than she already has, insisted that she wants to stay by herself and will be fine.

Siyeon never told her about Minji, she also never told her that they went to visit her, or tried to get in touch with her. But Bora knows that Yubin wouldn’t leave her cousin alone. And they don’t know how, but Bora also found out that Minji has left, left the town, or the country? No one knows.

Bora’s life continues, she busies herself with her work. Mostly staying inside when she is not working. She met new friends at work, Handong, the new vocal trainer from China, and Gahyeon, her neighbour. 

It’s a lie if she said she never thinks about Minji. Because she does every single day. She is wondering where she is, if she eats healthy, she wonders if she will ever meet her again. 

And just like that another year passed. Bora finds out that Minji is back in town, and she is opening a bakery downtown. She overheard it when Yubin talked about it the other day. As much as she is curious about how Minji is doing now, she is afraid of facing her. Bora long forgiven her, but if you are asking if she has moved on? No, she hasn’t.

She keeps looking for a time to go see Minji, but she is afraid that if she goes alone, she is going to break down in front of her. So when her co-workers asked her if she wanted to try this bakery downtown, she said yes right away. 

“You don’t seem happy going with me.” Jun, her co-worker said when they arrived at the bakery.

“Hush! You know why.” 

“I know, the love of your life that you left alone 2 years ago is the owner of the bakery and you are scared to meet her again. Also because you still love her so much that you are afraid you might cry the moment you see her, so you need me as your mental support.” Jun smirked as he watched Bora’s nose scrunch. 

“Shut up! You don’t need to rub it against my face!” Bora hits his shoulder as he opens the door and they walk into the bakery while laughing.

‘Welcome to Minji’s bakery!’

Bora heard that, but she pretends that she didn’t and Jun again teased her for that. They walked towards the counter with Bora still keeping her focus on somewhere else but the girl behind the cashier. She looked around the bakery, towards the collection of breads on the displays, and when they arrived at the counter she shifted her focus on the menu, trying to make it look like she was thinking of what to order although she knew she would end up getting the same thing. 

She hears Minji’s voice when she is attending Jun’s order, it makes her warm inside. She missed her voice so much and she feels like it never changed, still soft and full of warmth. 

“What are you getting?” Jun asked her, so she lifted up her head and looked at Minji. 

“Min...Minji…” She stuttered. 

The two of them stare at each other, feeling the surroundings disappeared and only the two of them there. They both miss each other, thinking if the other is doing fine, if the other is happy. 

“Baby, Bora?” Jun snapped her out of her trance. She glared at the man for calling her like that, no she doesn't want Minji to think that there’s something between her and Jun, because no there are none.

Not wanting to stay longer in these awkward situations she mumbled out her order and distracted herself right away. She walks out ahead of Jun when they get their order, and the moment they get into her car her tears fall. 

“You good?” Jun asked, wiping away her tears.

“WHY DID YOU CALL ME THAT BACK THEN?!” Bora punched his arms.

“Well, the two of you stare at each other with eyes full of hearts and it’s disgusting… AND! I called your name but you didn’t hear that I guess.” 

“UGH! Now she will think that we are together.” 

“Well, you left her, what do you expect? She still loves you and wants you back? You broke her heart you know?” 

“Still… Hey… I am broken too.” Bora said, feeling her tears threatening to fall again.

“Stop crying. I can see that she still loves you, the way she stares at you, and her expression when I called you baby? She looks sad, and confused.” Jun squished her arms, assuring her that everything will be okay.

* * *

*Siyeon calling*

“Yes?” 

“You visited her don’t you? Did you do that on purpose? Bora… and you had to bring him along out of everyone.” 

“Hello to you too, Siyeon.” 

“Bora… She called Yubin when you left.” 

“O...Oh…” 

“And it’s not a good sight when we got there.” 

“I…” 

“She misses you.” 

“I… I miss her too, Siyeon. So much that it hurts.” 

Siyeon decided to drop the talk and talked about something else instead. Asking how her day goes. And just like that they talked for another hour. 

It was around 11:30 and Bora sat on her bed reading a book when her phone rang. _‘Who called? It’s late…’_ She mumbled.

*unknown number*

_‘Weird… who?’_ She thought to herself, but she picked up the call. Silence. “Hello” She said, but the other line was still silent. “Anyone there?” She asked, slightly annoyed now. But the other line is still in a complete silence. “I swear to God if this is a prank!” Bora exhales.

“If you are not planning to say anything, I am hanging up.” Bora was about to hang up the phone when she heard some shuffling noise from the other line. And she also heard someone taking a deep breath, trying to say something. But nothing. That is when she knows, ‘Minji’, she thought. And her own breath hitched.

She waited for another minute, but it seems like Minji is not planning to speak up, so she said “I am hanging up”, and she did.

She holds her phone tight, she feels like crying. “Why…” She mumbled, “Why you called but you are not saying anything? Why do you have to do this? Why don’t you just forget me, Minji…” she stares at her phone, tears falling down one by one. And that night, she cries herself to sleep.

* * *

Bora just finished doing her laundry when her phone pings. 

*One message*

She opened the message, and it’s a long one. She puts down her mug on the small table and settles herself on the sofa before she starts reading the message. By the time she finished reading it, she cried. _‘Stupid.’_ She muttered. _‘We are both idiots…’_ She chuckled, wiping away her tears.

So she pressed reply. She knows she doesn't have to, but she wants to. She loves the taller girl as much as the taller girl loves her too. And she knows she will accept the taller girl with open arms if she asks for a second chance. That is how much she loves her still.

_Minji… Hi…_

_It’s been 2 years, how are you? You know, I always wonder if you are okay, I always wonder if you eat healthy._

_You know, I hated you, I hated you for always breaking promises, telling me lies. I hated you for not being there when I needed you the most. I hated you for letting me sleep alone at night. And I hated you for not fighting for me when I left you._

_Ever since I found out you left the country instead of looking for me, I have tried to come up with hundreds of reasons to hate you more, to forget you. But everytime i think about you I lead you back to my heart._

_I wish I could unmiss you, reverse the time so I could unmeet you. So I could save myself from this heartbreak. I wish I could undo everything, it would’ve made it so much easier for me._

_But now, I wish I could reverse the time back to the day I left you. Only this time I will stay, and talk to you instead of leaving. I wish I could be more open of my feelings to you. I never stop loving you. Never once._

_I know about you opening your own bakery, I overheard Siyeon and Yubin talking about it the other day. And i visited yesterday on purpose. You never change, still the same Minji that I used to know, and I am glad._

_Minji, if ever you asked for a second chance, know that my arms will always be open to accept. That is just how much I still love you. And I hope we can put everything behind us, and start over._

_Love, Kim Bora_


End file.
